The Order of the Phoenix Park
By Twenty Major
Twenty Major - still smoking in Irish bars
For three years Twenty Major has written a daily blog. Now though comes a tale so bizarre and abominable that mere words on a computer screen wouldnt have been able to do it justice. These words need to be on paper ...
When Twenty Major's friend, record-shop-owner Tom OFarrell is brutally shot in the stomach, his dying act was to scrawl the number 60 in blood on his chest and dial Twenty's number into his phone. When Twenty is called to the scene of the crime he hasnt a clue why Tom was trying to contact him or what the hell the number 60 means. But himself and Tom go back a long way and he vows to find Tom's killer.
Then things take a turn for the worse: Folkapalooza is announced - a massive free concert due to take place in the Phoenix Park with headlining acts Damien Rice, James Blunt and David Gray.
Something is wrong, really wrong. Why are people obsessed with Folkapalooza? What has turned the Goths outside the Central Bank into acoustic loving drips? Who is the ginger albino and how does it all link to Tom?
Can Twenty, Jimmy the Bollix, Stinking Pete, Dirty Dave, Lucky and even Ron himself, save the people of Dublin and, less importantly, the rest of Ireland, from a fate that is, quite literally, worse than death? And solve a murder along the way?
Twenty Major was born some years ago in Dublin, Ireland. He lives on, or around, the South Circular Road with a dog called Bastardface and a cat called Throatripper. He spent his formative years on the streets of Dublin playing football, kick the can and robbing blind people with collection tins.
After many years of training he became the youngest fully qualified shepherd in Ireland and by the time he was thirty he was a Shepherd Master. He still tends to his flock on a daily basis but has other more diverse business interests as well, such as ensuring people are protected, keeping ustoms officials on their toes, importing refugees to work on shady building sites and pork belly futures. His best friend is called Jimmy the Bollix and they drink, on a daily basis, in Ron's bar. He was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 but was beaten to the gong by Bishop Desmond Tutu who ran a vigorous dirty tricks campaign against him. He has never forgiven Tutu and will one day have his revenge. His other mortal enemies include Daryl Hall, LL Cool J (who stole his rap) and any kind of clown.
Twenty Major writes a daily blog at www.twentymajor.net which is amongst the most widely read and popular in Ireland. It contains stories of his day to day life, social commentary, foul-mouthed rants
and many stomach churning puns based on 80s pop music. He won three awards, including the prize for Overall Best Blog, at the very first Irish Blog Awards in 2006. He won the Overall Best Blog award again in the 2007 awards.
- Other details
- Publication date:
18 Feb 2008
- Page count:
Hachette Books Ireland
'Endlessly surrealy and brilliantly offensive ... the anti-Ross O'Carroll Kelly. A crude comic genius.' — Sunday Tribune
Brendan Behan for the internet generation — The Sunday Times
'The child of Wodehouse, Python and, especially, Flann O'Brien.' — The Dubliner
'Wickedly funny ... gleefully silly ... highly entertaining.' — Hot Press